Matthew (Mute) Parker 21/11/1976

I first met Mute in November 2011 on my first pushy whitewater kayaking trip in Scotland. I remember an epic conversation with him whilst pinned on a rock at the top of the Tilt. He dove into the river, asked me if I could roll, and pushed me off the rock. Shame my deck had imploded and I was now swimming in a gorge :)

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I've had many a most excellent adventure with Mute, and I'll remember them all.

There was the one where we set of at 5pm in the dark to run the Wharfe. We walked away.

There was the one where he had read the pressures, developed a degree standard knowledge of geology, and looked at the forecast. We went to run the Swale.. it was not running.. we walked away. We then went and did the Upper Tees but Matt had to walk out because he was wearing a jumper.

Then there was the gauntlet of deadly animal fields when we walked out of the Hindburn. Matt assured me bulls hated noise. He then proceeded to start shouting at the bulls, and waving his paddles.. it worked.

We did not however walk out of every river we ran :) He showed me many a line that to this day I still don't believe exist. He showed me that frozen cheesecake IS the best pre river snack, and he came up with some unbe-leaf-able tree puns that were oak-ally incredible (that was one of his).

I moved a tree with Matt.. a fucking tree. Not even a little one.. it was huge. We moved a tree. Matt would always do that. He would move a forest to help a friend or find a river. It was his enthusiasm that made him such a great paddler, friend, and coach.

The last time I spoke to Matt he informed me that after months of being 'Jimmy Savilled' by student dentists he had got new teeth and he wanted me to have breakfast with him so that he could 'test them'. Sorry I turned you down buddy.

He'd always turn up at the door unannounced. If there was a knock at the door and noone was expecting post, you'd instantly assume it would be Matt. How many work hours Matt stopped me doing, i do not know. It was a lot.

At least you got me down the Swale like you said you would. That line on lower Kidson left a lot to be desired :)

Ill miss you Matt. Now.. why wont this cough fuck off?

Rest in Peace Matt (Peter) Parker :P

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